I grew up in an Air Force family, and I can honestly tell you that when my dad came back from Vietnam, he had been severely damaged. His PTSD took the form of alcoholism, violence, deserting our family and then returning over and over again, using religion as an addiction and a weapon for control, and other forms of addictive or compulsive behavior I don't want to get into here.
He did not get the help from the gov't I am sure he was promised or deserved. It was just two years ago that he finally won compensation for his exposure to Agent Orange. This was a major victory for him, but still the damage had been done. My father and I are separated now; he is a dangerous man who did some unspeakable things to me in his neediness, pain, confusion, and need for a sense of power or control. But I still have compassion for him and hope that one day he will get the psychological help he needs, so that he will stop hurting peo. and pushing peo. away. One of my dreams is that we will all get some family counseling one day and learn some healthy, nonviolent ways of being with each other. My dad is a prime example of that old adage: "Hurt people hurt people."
I have recovered quite a bit over the years, from my own compulsive behaviors (partying, problem drinking, wearing myself out trying to save the whole world, etc.), but I am still in the process of healing my own intimacy and abandonment issues. The stuff that was lying underneath. I live on my own now. To his credit, my dad played a huge part in encouraging me and coaching me to be successful academically and artistically; but like my dad I have a lot to learn about intimate or close relationships.
I sincerely believe that if my dad had received the respect, the help, the compensation, and the counseling he deserved as a veteran he might not be in such bad shape to this day and we might still be living as a family to this day. But who can really say? There are other factors.
As for the veterans who are (or will be) returning now, I say welcome home, and God bless you. In my English Composition, Literature, and Speech classes I have college students who are veterans, and the ones who step foward or speak out bring so much to our classwork by sharing their stories, their experiences, their very presence. And I have seen some of my students who are veterans begin to heal once they come to understand that peo. care and want to listen to them and learn from them.
Whether or not the war in Iraq is just or unjust should not enter into this discussion. These are our brothers and sisters at heart and at the level of spirit. They are not to blame here.
In my "head" right now I keep hearing that old song from the sixties that said, "Bring the boys home. Bring 'em back alive..." I sing that song sometimes, although I know that there are both young men and women who need to come on back home. I just sincerely hope that when they do there will be help, hugs, and lots of love (in spirit and in action) for our returning veterans. If not, my fear is that we, as a society, will make the mistake of "inadvertently" (my dad's word) helping to create a segment of society whose levels of PTSD will be untreated and off the charts. From my own experience, I know that PTSD can be healed, but it takes time and concerted effort.
Love, peace, compassion, listening ears, assistance, healing, and justice are what is called for our returning veterans--for their sake, yes, and for all our sake. We are one. We are all in this together, no matter how we got here.