How do I report an Army E5 for adultery, what evidence do I need and who do I contact?

Question

My husband is cheating on me and I have him admitting it, or at least not denying it on tape... I know that screams vindictive B*** but long story short I am protecting myself from a VERY bad situation. There were two tapes, the first I still have, the second which had more detail was destroyed when he opened my purse and found the recorder. So, I have 2 questions... is that enough evidence to take to GI, what steps can/should I take here. Secondly, if the "destroyed" tape's actual film reel is still in ok condition can it be threaded onto another tape and salvaged, it's broken on one end, but there is still plenty of tape that has been recoded? Just wondering. This is a bad situation and I only recorded him to protect myself, but I think I need to do something and I don't know what else to do... answering without judgement would be very much appreciated I've already been through A LOT!!!

Answer 1

Some pretty stupid responses so far.



This is NOT a case for "cute" answers people!



The first thing to do is get legal advice from a lawyer or the military JAG (Judge Advocate General).



Adultery is not a "crime" but it would be considered detrimental to morale and discipline of the unit and reflect badly on the service. They may recommend counseling, or refer you to a military lawyer or counsel, but if you are afraid of physical violence and threats you need to take action immediately, both legal and protective -- inform authorities as soon as possible and find somewhere else to stay.



As far as the tapes, a lawyer could advise you of the legal measures to be take, if they are evidence for any separation or divorce, they can be confiscated as evidence . Don;t do anything yourself, but get professional legal help.



To me, the first thing is to protect yourself, which would mean letting the authorities handle any of this, and move out and find someone to stay with until this is resolved. Don't do anything yourself without getting legal advice, the military JAG, MPs or any civilian legal aid can advise you.



DON'T take matters into your own hands, let the authorities know and then protect yourself until it is resolved!

Answer 2

If you have no proof, such as a video tape, confession, or some type of DNA evidence (such as a child born from the affair with a court-ordered DNA test to back up he is the father) then you can not do anything. You can still report him but without proof it is your word against his. EDIT: The e-mails won't prove anything unless he confesses that he typed them. If you take copies of the e-mails to his commander it won't prove anything since he can just say you made those e-mails up (not a hard task with two fake e-mail accounts). E-mails, IMs, and text messages can't be used alone, they must be verified. Without a confession or some photos or videotape showing them having sex there is nothing you can do at this time.

Answer 3

Have you contacted the legal office on the post which he works? Bottom line, you need legal representation. If his command had proof that he committed adultry, he could be charged under Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Get in contact with his First Sergeant, that will light a fire under his ***. Finally, there are means to recover the audio data from partially damaged tapes.

Answer 4

I just reviewed Article 120 of the Uniformed Code of Military Justice which concerns rape and carnal knowledge. It does mention being married and having non-consensual sexual intercourse with someone who is not your wife or with a female under a certain age even if it was consensual. So, it doesn't look like you can get him charged with "adultery" if it was consensual.

Find a lawyer. Get a divorce.

Answer 5

Answer without judgement? Okay....let's just look at some readily available facts:



In clicking on your profile here, anyone can see that in the past month you've asked about: a) amicable divorce, b) gift-giving advice after meeting a 'rich guy' with whom you hit it off, c) how you go about marrying a non-citizen who's an old flame with whom you'll be living in NYC, and d) answered a question on how to meet rich men by telling someone to try sugardaddie.com.



??????????????????????



Yeah, you're going through a lot. You're all over the map - literally and figuratively. And here you are again, in yet another drama.



My non-judgmental answer? You need more help than you will find online.

Answer 6

strictly a civilian matter unless you can prove that it involved people in his direct chain of command.



adultery is never prosecuted by the military by and of itself, only in conjunction with other charges, mostly stemming from Fraternization or Harassment.



Get a lawyer, get help from an abuse shelter, do whatever it takes but get out of the situation. do NOT count on the military to get involved in any way shape or form.

Answer 7

You can talk to his commander, military police or CID but be forewarned, none of them are going to be particularly interested in your marital problems. Unless this soldier has a load of other discipline problems and this straw breaks the camel back, they probably will not care. They have way too many really important things to worry about right now.

Answer 8

Get a divorce. You can't get him into any trouble with the Army! That is his career, your his wife, two separate things. The military really wouldn't give two bob's if your husband has been cheating on you.

Answer 9

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RE :How do I report an Army E5 for adultery, what evidence do I need and who do I contact?

My husband is cheating on me and I have him admitting it, or at least not denying it on tape... I know that screams vindictive B*** but long story short I am protecting myself from a VERY bad situation. There were two tapes, the first I still have, the second which had more detail was destroyed when he opened my purse and found the recorder. So, I have 2 questions... is that enough evidence to take to GI, what steps can/should I take here. Secondly, if the "destroyed" tape's actual film reel is still in ok condition can it be threaded onto another tape and salvaged, it's broken on one end, but there is still plenty of tape that has been recoded? Just wondering. This is a bad situation and I only recorded him to protect myself, but I think I need to do something and I don't know what else to do... answering without judgement would be very much appreciated I've already been through A LOT!!!

Update: We don't have any children and we are getting divorced... he won't grant me a divorce and I have not hired a lawyer yet because he has already said he'll contest every detail until I am so far in debt I'll give up. I don't want to play the victim card but I just found out he has a girlfriend and that he has slept with AT LEAST 3 women in the 5 years we've been married. Embarrassed to say he "burned" me which is how this all got started. In Texas the marital property laws state "no fault divorce" so regardless of why we're getting divorced everything gets split down the middle. So we have to sell our house or he'll get it because he makes more money. That would mean I give up my home (I designed this house) my horses that live here and the other animals on my small farm. If I don't do something he will get half OR MORE of everything even though I've never been unfaithful. He has already taken my car for the girl to drive an I almost got fired for my job because I have to find rides.

Update 2: Ok, SheHerself, thanks for your answer, unfortunately for you I have two room mates and we all share one girl's email on here because the rest of us have gmail! I'm not mad, because I didn't even know you could look at question history like that and I understand how it looks, but I am not a drama queen either, between the three of us we'd make one hot mess! LOL

Follow 23 answers

Answer 10

you do not need his permission to get divorced.



Fill out the simple forms



have him served



go to court, 6 months later divorce

\

There is nothing for him to contest.



Forget about trying to report him, get on with your life.

Answer 11

see:

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/justicelawlegislation/a/adultery.htm



or seek a lawyer...



yah I bet you'll like me in a body bag too..



yah if the tape is stilli in good order and isn't demagnatized then it can be read. but it would take a little knack to open up another cassette and attach and carefully wind the cassette then wind it through and attach it to the other end.



see also

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/punitivearticles/a/mcm1342.htm



you decide I can only hope things work out for you guys. Adultry is common in civilian life, and while it can lead to divorce is something that even married couples learn to move beyond.



I wish you luck and if you need someone to talk to let me know, none the less remember he was trained to kill.



Go directly to the JAG.. for information do not go to his company as there may be loyalty issues.





really carefully consider what you decide to do because it may have just been a drunken mistake.. something that he regrets doing.



some married couples swing.

Answer 12

I'm sorry to hear this. It happens way too often in the military. It disgusts me. I had drill sergeants and instructors who were doing this to their wives. Here's the best info I could find for you: the Article 134 lists what you have to prove, a good explination is given on this webpage http://www.slate.com/id/2091777/ this page also has a link to the article you need to look at, and finally you need to report it to the commander. I don't judge you, and if anyone else says anything to you forget about them. They are losers. Cheaters should never get away with it. Hope you can nail him for more than this, so it ups the chance he'll get busted. You are in better luck if he cheated with a fellow soldier. Find a way to implicate he did it while in uniform. That's really hard to overlook. Best of luck, go get him...

Answer 13

I don't know why so many people are saying that adultery is not a crime under the UCMJ. That is, frankly, untrue. It falls under article 134:

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/punitivearticles/a/mcm1342.htm



Before proceeding you should be VERY certain that he really is cheating on you by ACTUALLY having intercourse (or at least a sexual relationship with other women). You'll note from the link that there's a lesser included offense of an article 80 tagged WITH the article 134... that means that yes, it is most likely a crime for him to be caught lying naked with another woman.



You'll want to start by having a chat with his first sergeant and asking to have a joint meeting with his CO. Adultery cases are hard to make stick as well, without solid proof. HOWEVER, while your tapes are most likely not admissable in court, they MAY be enough to open an OSI investigation against him, which may turn up exactly the evidence needed. That second tape COULD be reconstructed (even if it were demagnatized)... but since it's not admissable as evidence anyway and the procedure is extremely expensive that's not likely to happen.



From the first shirt, you're most likely going to have to talk with the legal office about what can be done. All this, of course, hinges on the fact that the commander has to recognize that there is sufficient legal evidence to open charges against him for a courts martial. I'm not going to lie, adultery is a hard case to prove, especially if both "guilty" parties are more than willing to lie and have others lie to provide alibis for them.



So, as I said already: first step is to talk to the first sergeant.

Answer 14

you can start by letting his chain of command know of the situation, go directly to his company 1sg and co, thy will know what to do then, is good that you are protecting your self, to this day i dont know why E-5 and above think that they are better than anyone below hem and can do whatever they want and get away with it, report him and dont be taking his trash anymore.

Answer 15

There are several things here that it does not sound like you have considered.



First, in some states it is a felony to record someone without their knowledge. (That is why tele-marketers always ask you 'can I record this') You might take that to divorce court and find yourself in trouble.



Second, verbal confession to a third party is not exactly the high standard of 'proof' you would want to take to a jury. Remember, Adultery is a Federal Felony under the UCMJ, the bar is pretty high. If you had date/time stamped video of him committing adultery it might work, but he could always claim that he just wanted to make you mad, and that is why he said those things that you recorded.



Third, if he is convicted or NJP for Adultery, at the very least he will be reduced to E-4, that will significantly reduce his income and future earning potential. Thus, it will significantly reduce your alimony and child support payments. Vengeance can be expensive.



Fourth, you will involve yourself in Federal legal proceedings. That will include sworn statements and such. If you make an error on any of those, his lawyer (if he is worth anything) will have you charged. Make sure you are as pure as the driven snow...this game can work both ways, so be careful.



It sounds like the marriage is over, it is time to be practical. Your best case is to just get a divorce and move on with your life. His karma will take care of his.

Answer 16

you have to have pictures of penetration. his commander could walk in on him laying next to another naked woman...and its not legally considered adultery.



your best bet...is to just divorce him. The army looks out for its own...and unless you have pics or video of him inserting his penis into another person.... your adultery claims will go no where.







** you said you wanted honesty....and I gave it to you

Answer 17

...to be able to use a tape-recording of someones voice in Court, you must have their permission to use it... (recording a voice has more serious protections then taking pictures)... So be very careful with your "recordings"...Oh you can record all you want...but to use it in a Court is a different story. Sound to me like you need the advise of a civil Attorney. Unless he is breaking the Laws surrounding the UCMJ you should consult with the "dreaded-lawyers".

Answer 18

You go to his Commanding Officer but remember if he is found guilty and the tapes will do it, they will bust him down to a lower rank. That will be less money for you and the kids (if you have any). Think hard.

Answer 19

You're not protecting yourself, you are exactly what you said you sounded like. I'll not help you beyond, get the lawyer you don't have.

Answer 20

Im glad i found this question because i have one for you. If your husband was not in the army who would you call NO ONE. I hate when spouses use the army to get back at their spouse if he worked at Burger King would you call his boss and tell him that your hubby was cheating. Marriage is between you and him so divorce him or deal with it. My wife called my 1SG and i told her this is our business and if she did it again that i will Divorce her and she knows that i was serious. Now to answer your question you will need pictures PERIOD he is not gonna admit it to anyone hell i would not, but the difference is i dont cheat on my wife. anyway if you dont have pictures showing him having sex with who ever you are at a dead end

Answer 21

try DIVORCE lady.

Answer 22

smells like a gold-digger!!

Answer 23

No. What would scream vindictive is if you slept with one of his buddies......or me.

Answer 24

Do you want out of the marriage or do you want to stick it to him? If you simply want out of the marriage, here is what you do.



First, DO NOT GET PG!!! That stops all divorce actions in all 50 states. Get on the pill if you are not already on it and cut off the sex!!



Get a lawyer and file for divorce. If you were living in the house before you met him, it is PRIOR property and the Texas community property laws do NOT apply. He does NOT get half. (Unless after you got married you put the house in both your names.) As you file, ask for a court order that he move out because you fear for your safety. Start by filing for divorce for reasons of incompatibility. You do not have to prove he cheated or anything else and do not even have to mention it. Simply file for divorce.



If he wants to fight it, HE will have to hire a lawyer. At that point your lawyer can inform his lawyer that if he contests the divorce, the adultery will come out. If the adultery was done with another military member or the spouse of another military member, tell him that information will be given to the service for an investigation. I would bet he would not want that and will want out of the divorce quietly so his career is protected. In that case, you can call the shots, getting your house, horse and car back.



On the other hand, if you want to stick it to him, you are going to have to get him to move out of the house. Simply stop all that wife stuff. Do not shop for him. Do not cook for him. Do not do his laundry. Do not take care of his uniforms. Do not clean the house. Do not do ANYTHING for him. Leave the answering machine OFF and do not take messages for him. Sleep in another bedroom or on the couch. NO SEX. On the first of the month, go down to the bank and take all the money out of your joint account. Open an account of your own and put the money into it. You might get to do that one or two months at the most before he also opens up a new account. Do not forget to clean out the savings account. In the meantime he will not be able to pay his bills. Creditors will start coming after him. (You pay YOUR bills with the money.) Call the bank and cancel all of your joint credit cards. Get one that is in your name only. Get a job because once he stops the bank payments you will get no more money from him. Consider taking his prized stuff (specially guns) and go down to a pawn shop and pawn them. Leave the pawn tickets where he can find them. If he goes and gets them out of hock, pawn them again. If you have another key for your car and your name is on the title, simply go get the car. Since it is your car, you are not stealing it. (If it is entirely in his name then leave it alone.)



Eventually he will get tired of the whole thing and will either be more than willing to give you the divorce OR he will move out of the house. If he moves out, you file for divorce immediately saying he left you. Hold the adultery stuff as the ace in the hole, as mentioned above.



If at any time he hits you, you call the cops. If he forces you to have sex, it is rape. Call the cops. If he is gets charged with domestic battery or rape that could end his career. He may be more than willing to divorce you if you agree to drop the battery or rape charges against him.



As far as that adultery stuff, hold that as your ace in the hole. Do not file for divorce for adultery!!!





Bottom line, do not let him have his cake and eat it too. He either treats you like a wife and remains loyal to you or you are nothing and he gets nothing from you. Let him see just how much nothing is.



(Personally, I would advise you just getting out of the marriage by the first method suggested. He could get violent and you might not survive the second.)



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