marriage after bootcamp...need immediate help?

Question

my boyfriend is currently in marines boot camp. we have already decided to get married but i will not turn 18 until about a week after his ten day leave is up. i am worried that even if we do a justice of the peace wedding in california after his ten day leave, we wouldnt be able to live together. i dont want himstuck in teh barracks and me stuck off base away from him. what can we do?

Answer 1

He may need to get permission from his commanding officer to do this, to begin with. The Marine Corps frowns on side issues such as this, that keep its troops from being restricted in any way.



At 17 years old, you might think you're ready to start a new life, but I can assure you, if you listen to sound advice now, you will eventually be glad you did.



Stay in school, or if you have already graduated HS, sign up for college. Marriage can wait. Chances are this young Marine will be on his way to Iraq or Afghanistan for a tour of duty, this gives you lots of time to broaden your horizons and determine a career path that will carry you through life.



It is a complex world you are entering. Without education and a career path along with a formal education, you don't stand much of a chance to become something in life. Being a wife, mother, and home maker, lasts only so long. One day you will wake up and realize you are not qualified to do much, and then the only thing that will be available to you are menial jobs.



You need to plan now for your future. The marriage will be there when the time is right. Now is not the right time.

Answer 2

Do you mean you won't be able to live with him while he's in training or at his first duty station? My husband is in the Navy and I know they are different, but the two are similar in many ways. When my husband left boot camp he had to go to training for his rate- his job. If the training does not last long enough dependents cannot live with them. I would say if you already know you want to get married and the timing of it does not rely on you wanting to keep him out of the barracks go ahead and get married. The military will see you as his dependent and will allow you to move as soon as he's in a place where you can come along too. Good luck! Being a military wife is not always fun or easy, but you know that already. My husband is on a 15 mo deployment- so even though we've lived together for 2 years, I'm back home now :) Just part of it. Again, best wishes with your marriage. Everything will fall into place :)

Answer 3

First let me say you are not going to live with him right after boot anyway. He still has to go to his school. Unless you mean that his leave is after his school.



But anyway......Lets say you are talking about him actually being sent to his first duty station......He will get days off and time after duty hours. You could then travel to where he is, get married, and then when you received your certified (not the pretty one you get on that day) marriage certificate back he would turn it in. He would also need to turn in your SS card & birth certificate. As soon as all that is in the system and they have him as married he would no longer have to stay in the barracks.



If you are talking about while he is in school....He has to stay in the barracks. Everyone does. Married or single.



The other thing to remember here is that you are going to be considered an acquired dependent. That means when his orders were cut he was single. Therefore the Marines are NOT going to pay for your first move. Not 1 penny. Moves after that will be paid for though.



California law-

If either the bride or groom is under 18, at least one of the minor’s parents, or legal guardian, must appear with the couple. Certified copies of birth certificates are required. The couple must also schedule an appointment with a counselor and then appear before a California superior court judge



http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/p/california.htm

Answer 4

while in training, you will not be living together as he will be required to live on base. The only time he will be allowed to live off base if he gets E5 or so when I was in the Marines. By all means the worse you can do for him is give him a "Dear John" letter while he in training. I know that is hard for you both as I got married after boot and infantry training, then heading 3000 miles away until got my 1st leave a year later which was only a week. Then was lucky to get another one the same year. But once he becomes perminate, he can go off base to live together. The Marines were called a brown bagger. But it expensive as you are on your own for living and commuting. Base housing takes for ever to get on the list and forever to get a place. Then the time you get one, then he can be transferred to another base or to war. Be patient and the love will will last forever and will look back on this. My wife and I have been for over 40 years.

Answer 5

OK so you are set on being Married to a Military Man.



1st ...the young Recruit is going to got to MCT after Boot Camp, or if he is a Grunt then another type of training.

2nd...he then a is going to go to MOS school, or if he is a Grunt more training.

3rd....He will then get his 1st duty station.



He might get leave after Boot Camp and he may not. If he does you can get Married then. During all the school and training you will not be able to be with him,(unless his school his longer than 6mo). And also during this time you will be able to get your ID and be put into Deers.



Once he has Orders for his 1st duty station he will be granted enough leave to pack up both of your belongings and you and get you to wherever he is going.



Housing usually has a waiting period, so be sure to save money so that you can get an apt.



If you need any extra help please add me to your contacts and I will help you in any way I can. Military Wives need to stick together, whether they are young or older.



I really do wish that you would think about waiting a little while longer, however I do wish you the best of Luck.



When you see him at Family Day thank him for Us.



Semper Fi

Answer 6

After boot he has 10 days leave, then a month at MCT and then MOS School (unless he's a 0311 them straight to SOI), you can't go to MCT with him and depending on his MOS school chances are you can't live with him then either. The only upside to getting married before he gets out of MOS school are orders. If you wait he might get a solo 2 year in Japan like most first year Marines. See if your parents will allow you to get married on his leave because you'll have to wait until he gets time off to do it.



Edit: wait until he gets to his MOS school and get married on a liberty or he can take a few days of leave around a holiday. Then you can move. Unless his school is really long he can't live with you but most commands will grant overnight liberty on the weekend to married Marines who have family nearby. Sorry about your parents, I know it can suck sometimes, I'm black and my husband is white, we know all too well what that feels like. Good luck hun.

Answer 7

Each branch of the military has it's differences. I'm in the army, so this might not be completely accurate for your situation. However, a good friend of mine had to do the same thing. After getting married with a justice of the peace, all you have to do is give him a copy of all the paperwork. He should be able to go to his leadership with it, and they'll show him where to go. He'll file some paperwork with his leadership and with Housing. After all the paperwork is complete they'll pick up you and your stuff and move you onto whatever base he'll be stationed at.

Answer 8

When he goes back he needs to take the marriage certificate, your birth certificate and SSN card with him if you haven't already had that information entered into DEERS at a base or Reserve/National Guard center by you. He will have to go to school first and you cannot be together for that unless it is over 1 year long. You will then have to wait until he gets his orders for his first base before you can be together. There is also the possibility that he can get orders to Japan or another overseas (OCONUS) location in which they will not be accompanied, they will be unaccompanied for 2 years.

Answer 9

hon there is always a waiting list for housing, the only thing you 2 can do is get housing off post. Even as a single parent overseas I was put on a housing list or get housing off post, I opted to wait for housing. Gte an apartment, he will probably be low in rank so th elist for him will be longer and it just will be best to not wait for housing and justget it off post as near to base a s possible. he may still have ot get a barracks room while you to are waiting to look for an apartment.

Answer 10

First, don't get married. Wait until you're both 21, at least. You're too young and you'll end up divorced in three years or less. Trust me.



Print this out and use it for motivation to stay in love, but things will change and you two will get divorced.

Answer 11

As long as your parents consent to the marriage, I believe you can get married at 17 in most states.

Tell your boyfriend thanks for his service.

Answer 12

You don't have to be 18 to get married if you have your parents' consent.



What difference does a week make?

Answer 13

im not sure what the prob is.. unless you wont be able to get a parents consent..

Answer 14

Is it worth him or you writing to his Commanding Officer?



Maybe he could apply to postpone his leave until after you reached 18, so that you could get married while he was on leave.



The alternative would be to get married in a state that allows marriage at 17. In my country it is legal to get married at 16

Answer 15

If he talks to his Sgt he should get an extra few days to get married. You should be able to tie the knot. Good luck.

Answer 16

Have him go to his First Sergeant and talk to him about it. They are usually a big help, and that is their job to help.