Question:
Do a lot of husbands cheat while on deployment?
Amber B
2009-09-04 19:48:54 UTC
My husband is in the Navy and is currently on deployment. He says that a lot of the guys are "rebelling" against their wives and blowing all of their money. Do a lot of husbands cheat when they hit ports?
22 answers:
squirrljam12
2009-09-04 19:59:34 UTC
Only if they are not happy. In most cases, husbands and wife use the fact they have family back home as motivation. It's only if they are in a unstable relationship that they might be looking around...just the same if they were back home.

I would suggest you stay as supportive and loving as possible. Fill his ear about how proud you are of him and constantly remind him that you are waiting back home to spend some time together. This way he never has the filling that you have lost any love with him or gotten busier with your own life now that you are without him. They then treat day to day like a job they have to be away from you with than his new life where he has no constant comunication to reassure him of what he left.



Plus it's a crime in the military to cheat and get busted...all good reasons.
The Brown Bomber
2009-09-04 20:01:42 UTC
I was in the Army for 7+ years, so I might not be of must assistance. I served on 3 deployments, one of which was pretty much like a 6 month vacation. The last thing on my mind on any of them was cheating on my wife. No matter what type of deployment I was on, it was my job to stay diligent and to keep out of trouble.



I can't speak for your husband, but hopefully he thinks that way too. The fact that he brought up what a lot of the other sailors are doing should ease your mind a bit. I can't speak for all military personnel, since it is so diverse. But in my 3 deployments, never once did I see or hear of a married person cheat on their wife while deployed. I hope this answers your question.
2016-04-10 04:43:15 UTC
Sweetie, I feel so bad you're having to go through this right now on your own while he is away. But the good news is, he has a conscience, a lot of men don't. And even if it was an "accident" from being to drunk or to emotional about something they would never admit to it and just go on with their lives as if nothing ever happend. So since your husband confessed, and apologized not wanting to lose you. Chances are he is sincere when he says its over, he is sorry, and it won't happen again. And the sooner he gets home the sooner the two of you can work on working this out. Its obvious you love each other. And no matter what, DO NOT blame yourself! There is no way this is your fault. He Is across the world and there was no way you could physically be there for him during this time. I would suggest you take some time to think and clear your head before you make a decission on staying or going. You need to be absolutely sure you will (with time & maybe even marriage counseling) be able to forgive him for this and one day trust him again. Then speak with him about what its going to take to earn your trust and forgivness. Hopefully he will come home soon because its always easier having them there while going through something so serious. Good luck and please think of your future happiness while trying to decide. And unfortunately none of us can decide for you. Only you know your husband well enough to truly know if he is being sincere in his promises to you from here on out.
messengeroftruth13
2009-09-05 12:55:38 UTC
your husband doesn't need a deployment to cheat. if he is gonna be a cheater then he will be a cheater. most of the guys on deployment that do cheat use it as an excuse and they were probably aleady thinking about it anyway.
Female Airman
2009-09-04 20:02:48 UTC
some guys may cheat on deployment but i would not say it's the majority, and some women cheat on their husbands while their husbands are deployed. should he be worried that you're cheating because you tell him a story of how some woman cheated on her husband while he was deployed? exactly. he's your husband. trust him. and thank you, to both you and your husband. i hope he returns safely and soon. :)
rufus
2009-09-05 01:03:48 UTC
ur husband sounds like a good guy, i doubt he would do cheat.



i want to join the army when i am older- 14 now. i really feel strongly about cheating. if u get a girlfriend, very simply remain faithful.

i think cheating is a sign of dishonesty, unreliability and selfishness. if i get deployed, i would never cheat. i would feel so guilty i would probably kill myself.

people that cheat also cause pain for their partner, children if they have them and overall family.

i dont know any soldiers that have cheated. if u asked any soldier they would probably deny it.

im sorry its just the way i feel.



it seems that from all the answers that deployed men do cheat a lot. ur husband seems devoted so i wouldnt worry about.



lol, hope i helped
Rob G
2009-09-04 20:58:25 UTC
Amber it goes both ways. Tons of husbands and wives cheat. For some it's because they feel free and like they can't get caught, others are just in a bad relationship. I have been married for 20 years and have never cheated on my wife, but there have been plenty of my friends who have cheated on theirs.



Each relationship is different.



Good luck
James
2016-05-17 15:29:01 UTC
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Calling the day after a first date falls under this category. You don’t have to talk for hours. Just call and thank her for the date; tell her you had a good time and that you look forward to seeing her again. It’s that simple. That’s all women need to hear. Hell, if it’s something you would do after a job interview, shouldn’t you at least do it for a woman you’re interested in.
NWIP
2009-09-05 06:27:29 UTC
A lot of it stories and no more than that. Some guys do cheat while in a foreign port but most do not at all. Some look and go to night clubs, etc... but they never actually do anything more than that.
Ayla
2009-09-04 22:55:11 UTC
From my friends that are in the military, a lot of women cheat on their husbands too...just not men. But I also had a friend who was cheated on while he was deployed in Iraq.



I wouldn't let these answers scare you, everyone is different. Your husband may be different from "those guys", and only you can trust him as he can trust you. =)
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2016-04-29 03:13:33 UTC
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Kojak
2009-09-04 21:53:19 UTC
Sad to say.....after 30 years in the military..... I can count on my fingers the number of deployed troops that remained faithful to their wives and girlfriends if given the chance to cheat.... there are a few that are faithful but VERY few

You have a good one......treat him right



For the rest of you out there..... if a man is going to cheat.....there is nothing you can do about it...... no way to stop it

My advice......TRUST HIM...... believe in him..... jealousy will drive him into someone else's arms...... "If I am going to be punished for the crime I might as well do the crime"



Been my experience that those that cheat reveal themselves.....you do not have to check on them..... eventually they will screw things up.....
2009-09-04 19:57:56 UTC
Why wouldn`t they? Guaranteed some sailor boy is up in some Thai chick as we speak. You should always be thinking and coming to terms with the fact that your husband could be cheating on you right now. But you will never know, will you? Cause he`s so far away and he`ll just deny it "Baby, c`mon, dont`t be crazy. It`s only you." But meanwhile, you`ll never truly know. The power of denial is powerful on both side but more for his cause you can never prove it and since you can`t prove it he can always keep denying it and.........
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Unfortunately a big fat YES. I work in a bar in Australia and we just had a small ship of Marines come through. I met 2 guys, of whom I was intimate with. One told me he was married and his wife died during child birth along with his unborn child. I later found out from guys that I made friends with, that he still is married. These guys didnt know him well, and only found out after I asked them to get his email off him again as the one he gave me didnt work.



The other guy, flat out lied. We spent 2 weeks together. Again I found out later that he was greeted in Japan by his wife and children when they got back.



Some actually wear their rings but are still willing to cheat. I made friends with some trustworthy married ones and they were saying that after a trip to Thailand half of his platoon came to him with funky stuff happening down stairs. The majority of them were married and obviously had unprotected sex whilst in Thailand. They had to get fixed up before they went home to their wives.



I wouldnt trust any of them that get deployed. They are men. They think about sex all the time. For most of them, its their first time to Australia. They love our accent as do we theirs. Women throw themselves at them here. They just have to say one word and they can get sex. Especially when they are all cashed up as well. Australian men dont buy women drinks. American men dont care about money when they are here. They spend thousands. They get drunk every night. And they are so polite to us. Money + the accent + politeness = sex.



It is great for our economy and great of single overweight ladies that dont get a second look from Australian men.



But im telling you now. I would make your husband have a STD check when he gets home. Some of them are faithful. Alot are not. Alot use condoms. And alot dont care.



Sorry babe. But this is the reality. I felt sick when I found out that these guys were married.
2009-09-04 20:25:49 UTC
you know what they say, what goes on on deployment, stays on deployment
2009-09-04 19:56:28 UTC
Yeah, yeah and he alone remains faithful, give me a break---------have a great day, ya hear.
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