Military spouses?

Question

Military spouses?

Answer 1

I've heard from other Army wives the thing to do is stay busy. Get together with other wives whose husbands are deployed. Anti-depressants are not addictive. If you were down enough that you couldn't go to work, then you could benefit from even just a few months on them and then stop taking them. You've had a ton of stressful events in a short period of time. It would make anyone depressed. Stay busy, socialize, and make the most of the time he has home.

Answer 2

Find out if there's a "Command OSBUD." This is what it's called in the Navy, not sure the name for the Army. This is a group where spouses, husbands and wives of active duty members, get together, and talk about the various hardships they face while the spouse is on deployment. This is indeed very normal, especially for newly weds, as you indicate. I don't know if your religious, but if you are, try to talk with the Command Chaplin. At the very least, they can point you out to professionals on the base, and groups for spouses in the community, that can help you cope. Good luck!

Answer 3

My husband's in Iraq for the fourth time. Every deployment gets a little bit easier - you learn to cope, like with anything else in life. Best thing to do is to keep busy and have projects with deadlines throughout the deployment, so that you work your way through it. You're a military wife, that's part of the package you married; best to plan on succeeding through deployments instead of dreading them. That's the sacrifice YOU are making for this country, and you should be proud of it and step up.



If your depression is that disabling, consider seeing a therapist. The military system has many resources including Military One Source and you have access to therapists out in town for FREE - take advantage of it. You may find better ways to work through your feelings. Good luck.

Answer 4

Hey, I've been thru two deployments. I'm from GA and we're in KS. There are programs for deployed families that help w/ stress. You could probably find out thru FRG or Rear D. I always went home to stay w/ family while he was deployed. I also started anti-depressants. If you decide to medicate, make sure they aren't addictive because the one I used was and I didn't know until I tried to stop taking them. I had to take care of our son while he was gone which kept me very busy because he was only 2 mths old the first time and 1 1/2 the next time. The FRG wasn't much help but the Rear Detachment was awesome. I also wrote in a journal everyday and went to the gym to relieve stress. There is really no way to prepare and it wasn't any easier the second time he deployed. Even when they are here, depending on their job, they are gone a lot w/ range, schools, field, etc. It's just one of the "perks" of being an Army Wife. The sooner I accepted the situation, the easier it was for me. Just keep busy and if you feel that you need to medicate to stay sane, there is no shame in that. God Bless You and your Soldier.

Answer 5

medical attention may have been needed but you would not really know unless you consulted a doctor you should run your feelings by the doc see what is advised don't do anything your unsure about. there are army spouse groups out there your spouses unit should have an family readiness group after a deployment you will all have several things in common. if you didn't miss your spouse something much bigger is probably wrong its 100% normal

Answer 6

I am not a lady, however I spent 21 years in the Army, was married with 3 kids. I participated in a 3 overseas deployments that kept me from my family for 8 months to a year and a half.

I had a long talk with my wife, and because I was going in harms way, we decided to mover her and the kids back to her parents hometown while I was away. We were fortunate enough to where her parents could help with the moves. She had her parents and a sister and brother for moral support, as well as watching the kids while she worked. Things worked out well.

The thing about the military is if something would have happened to me, then the Army would have given her some assistance in getting moved to where ever she decided to go, ensured she received whatever pay was still due including arranging for the payment of the life insurance, and that would have been about it. At least if you are around family, you will have some support.

As always hope for the best, prepare for the worst. You have a lot of things to discuss with your husband.

Good luck with what ever you two decide.

Answer 7

Hello I am a daughter of an ex-soldier (that is currently in Iraq as a civilian) and I have a boyfriend in the army. What I could tell you is spend as much time with him as possible without making him feel all like he's going to die or anything. Um and the anti-depressants isn't really a good thing. There should be some sort of a support group for spouses of deployed and overseas Soldiers. Other than that I have learned to not be prepared for the deployments. I understand everything goes so fast and it feels like your head is spinning but you will be ok. Find out if there is some kind of support group in your area and try to go to some of the events that the certain groups offer. It will keep your mind off of the fact that your not in such a great state of mind and it will also help to find some friends while you are at that station. Good luck and Welcome to the Army Family.

Answer 8

It is never easy to prepare for a deployment. How long has he been gone? You need to get out and do things to keep your mind occupied. Have you gotten involved with the FRG? Take up a cooking class, or knitting, or scrapbooking (be you have tons of wedding pics that need to be organized). It took me about 3 or 4 months to get use to it. My hubby just came home for leave and once he left it was hard again, but we are back to how things were. Do you live on or off post? Do you know anyone around you?

Answer 9

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Answer 10

Hi! Well hubby's been in 18yrs and gone for 9.5 - it doesn't get easier! Maybe easier to cope cause you understand the systym and how it works but not easier emotionally. I know it's hard - hubby went from basic/ait to Korea for 17 months (first Gulf War) so we only saw each other 5months and 3 days of our first two years of marriage! Then only 8months home between deployments to Iraq (25months in theater) and we were pcsng back to the States from Europe.



1. I would NOT move back to be near family - for all the reasons you've already listed - info flow is not as good, military wives understand what you're going through, etc. I've seen more issues with wives who moved home than those who didn't both in Germany and in the States.

2. the FRG may be dramatic (I've lead previously) but it is essential that you at least be in contact with them- especially during deployments even if you don't attend the meetings regularly. They don't have to be your best friends but they will be there with information and help out if you need it. (usually) being a help and changing things can help you feel needed/useful as well as make a difference in other ladies lives! Make sure you at the very least are in contact with the Read Detachment and that they have your info --- here's why it's imperative we had a lady in Germany who didn't tell RD she was going to the States her hubby was KIA and they couldn't find her for 4 days!

3. There are some great programs on post that don't exist in the civilian world - PWOC/MCCW (chapel ladies organizations), the FRG, ACS, etc that you can volunteer at/ get involved in to get you out of the house and worrying about others.

4. Anti-depressents are not addictive per se but there are alternative meds/ways to cope with depression. Exercise, diet, herbals such as St. John's Wort -can all help. However, if you feel these things aren't helping after talking with a doc then short term use of anti depressents may help you.

5. All that you are feeling/experiencing is very normal for your situation! Some great books/resources for you include: Hero's at Home, When Duty Calls and While They're at War.



Feel free to email me if you like! Would not mind trying to help at all. I'm not trying to sound cold just cover all the points! Life as a military spouse is a challenge even in peace time - you can't do it alone! Somtimes it helps me to literally make a list of all the benefits and blessings we have, and to gain perspective of how things could be worse - and yes they always could be!



There's a special place in heaven for a wife with camoflauge wings!

Answer 11

Hang in there, military life is really hard.The only preperation I can suggest is to not think about the upcoming deployment.Pretend like it's not going to happen. If that is all possible, right. If you can moving close to family/friends is a good idea. It helped me. About the anti depressants, don't feel bad I really don't know any military wives who didn't take something to help them. Its just the lifestyle I guess. I will pray for you.