We are getting married in April then he is joining the Navy...?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years. He is my world and I love him very much. We are getting married on April 3rd. and then after that he is joining the Navy. He was accepted into the Nuke program so after boot camp I am moving to Charleston with him. But could someone who has been through something similar please tell me what it is like, how quick do things get done? Is it unbearable to have him away for 6 months? We are planning on having a baby after we get to Charleston but I am just scared about the unknown. I just need some support right now, I have to be behind him 100% of the time, but its hard when I am scared about everything. So anyone who has been through something like this please just let me know. Thanks!

Answer 1

I was in the Navy for 10 years, and married for 9 of those years. I had 4 kids while I was in, and it is a pro/con thing. The benefits were great, I never paid a medical bill, the pay was really crappy though. I realized after 10 years I could go do the same thing in the outside world and make more money. Of course the NUC program is the navy elite brain children, the training he will receive is second to none. My wife always went home to her parents when I went on deployments, and it was hard for her, and me as well. You both have to support each other 100% or it will not work. Technology is great these days, there is e-mail, phones, postal mail on all ships. He will be seeing the world, and it is great to receive a phone call from your spouse when they are in another country. It is something that is a life long memory. Another reason I left was because of deployments, it was too stressful on my kids, and it tore them up every time I had to leave. My family time was worth more then the navy time, but now I am out and living life to its fullest, making more money, with great benefits, and we are all happier.

Answer 2

If you were already planning to get married, then it is best to do it before boot camp. There will be many more services and benefits available to you as a navy wife. Talk to your mom and listen to her concerns about you getting married. And then explain your side to her. The two of you may never agree, but at least you will have a better understanding of each other's point of views. If you were still a little unsure about getting married, then don't do it just because he is joining the military. If you have some doubt then you need to wait a little while. Being a Navy wife does have benefits, but it is also very hard.

Answer 3

I haven't been through this personally, but two close friends were married to Navy Chiefs, and it is extremely difficult to deal with a six month separation. Would it be feasible for you to go back home to your parents house after he ships out and you've had your baby? Being alone, in a new place is difficult at best, and even more so taking care of a baby, which is a 24/7 job. It would, on the other hand, be a learning and growing experience for you to stay put and do it on your own. The Navy has support groups for wives, and each ship has a woman, usually an officer's wife who you can contact for just about anything, so there IS support available for young wives. There will also be a lot of other wives whose husbands will ship out when yours does, and cultivating friendships with them is important. You each know what the others are going through and sometimes it really helps to vent to someone living through the same things you are. You can also swap babysitting or just shop or hang-out together. If you can find a sitter, you can look into taking a class or two at a local college, or see what the base has to offer. One thing you will have to deal with when your husband returns is learning to share decisions again after having handled everything yourself for six months. Most ships offer the guys re-acclimation classes to help them settle back into life on land, and hopefully your husband will attend them. Best of luck to you in your marriage and motherhood, Bless you and your husband for the sacrifices you will both be making. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 4

congrats on getting into the nuke programme.



it will be hard, it will be fun, it will have great days and days that just su**ck just like real life.



It is not the end of the world with them being away so long as you focus on the good side of life and remain being your own person, make sure that you have work / studies / a life outside of being his wife.



numerous deployments and also spent 18 months in another country just after we got married.

Answer 5

please don't be scared. if he loves you it will all work out :)